Curse

You are a curse
life scarred.
Mine.

If i could kill
I would.
You.

I didn't deserve
this;anhilition
of feelings.

I won’t question
Time passed.
Vengeance.

Sweet nemesis.
Knife in the back,
I walk.

Each tear restrained
will flood
your world.

You are a curse.

Cold night.

Cold;frigid night,
innate spite.
chaos;numb,
senses succumb.
lost;obtuse,
painful abuse.
such is the night.

Questions;infinite,
emotions fight.
clue less;such,
no one to clutch.

To Feel;or not,
vicious plot.

Love;mine,
i should go.
solemnly;know.
i loved;to fall,
death's call.

What I've Become.

Colours have lost Colours,Songs have lost music.
World seems uninteresting. Faith remains useless.
Hope has no more meaning left.
Such is life.
No wanting,
no expectations,
no feelings,
numbness.

Is it the end of life, or beginning of a new one.
Petrifying it is.
Courage seems to dwindle each second.
Vices remain; Virtues inexplicable.


Physically drained,mentally hollow. The state of affairs tormented by reality.

What I've become.

Gone Soon.

Metaphors falling less

to describe the pain,distress

Each second, an assault

bringing eupnea to halt

Pain permeating with air

i inhale,unrelenting despair

Severity is such,intense

blood clogged,senses fenced

Organs failing,choices marred

burning flames,life charred

Palpitations at speed unknown

to pieces, heart will be blown

And it seems,never-ending

time ticking,and its ascending

Lost hope,and myself too

i'd be gone soon,minutes few.

Soul Burns.

Let it burn tonight

no constraint,no fight

The soul has to go

in flames,wounds glow

Torment validated

an oneiric land,abetted

To wish and wish more

only to go bloody sore

The fire will be just

burning, soul under crust

With no remains,no trace

and no dreams to chase

The bloody game will stop

no lesions,heartbeats drop

Its in flames tonight

the soul,and it dies

Contemplating..

Contemplating suicide

never too easy

a lot, tried

of life,queasy..

Reason not one

undermine flesh

far under yon

millions enmesh

Self-fix mechanism ceased

weakness possessed

soul deceased

hollowness distressed..

Choices marred

declared cipher

what if scarred

death-term;than a lifer..

Black Smoke..

Wanting to live in smoke

blurring the vision

diluting the reality

and losing presicion..

Its too much chaos

as life moves on

obscured all the time

passing each milestone..

So such would be the life

in the dense black smoke

nothing would be visible

no thoughts to provoke..

Inhaling and exhaling

would seem same

not like what prevails

exhaling anger;inhaling blame..

Soaking myself in smoke

all senses at hault

wounds not felt

nor any assault..

Love Locked Down...Save..

Keeping Love Locked down

in abstruse ail i drown..

and nowhere to go..run

my debile spirit,i want to shun..

heart is wrenching,life too

suspiring is punishing to pursue..

love yearns your presence,touch

either you or death,ill clutch..

stare once in my direction

heart will throw your reflection..

because it holds you,sole

swear by my dying soul..

it needs you..come..

come before i go numb..

release the love locked down

save me or else i will drown..

 

My pic!

Ive been too lazy to do it so mahima did it for me!

They are my b'day pics.

Fading Away...

Burn my Soul
and blow the ashes
heart losing control
with each beat crashes

all was at stake
wish i could lower it then
would have subdued the ache
and no torments again

trusted so bad
that am in awe
with love that i had
i still had a flaw

revival is vital
but will is gone
after your each recital
it remains withdrawn

soul was here to stay
with you forever
but better now it goes away
and lessen your endeavor

so it will burn at earliest
i promise for sure
giving u rest
and happiness i assure

Burning Heart..

It feels as if.. 

someone is clenching my heart

shooting it with burning darts..

i cannot douse the fire burning

minute after minute pain is returning..

am helpless and weak

no place to go,where solace i can seek..

though hands are tightly tied

am still hurting their self pride..

heart is ticking like an old clock

any moment it seems,it will stop..

the person i held in this heart

is the one who,pain imparts..

but still i am to be blamed

by me,my heart could not be tamed..

i fell feeble and faint

so my heart is burning with no restraint..

Insecurities..

Gulping my insecurities

life marked by adversities 

crusading mind's impurities

avenging fear of severities..

long its been a process

breaking each neuron 

still trying to suppress

and calmly holding on..

But as a night dies

my insecurities are alive

and with each sunrise

my fears multiply and thrive..

Losing myself to these fears

on them,i seem to choke

still trying to prevent tears

and my situation,i try to cloak..

I want a miracle to take place

annihilation of pain and frights 

someone to lovingly embrace

and cure my afflictive nights..

Living Disgraced..

Living disgraced

entity erased

mirror lies

uncloaked disguise

proclaimed grime

by someone prime

feelings obliterated 

pain infiltrated

no relief

to one's disbelief

sagacities passed

left aghast

whom to oppose

such severe blows

devoid of sanity

allegations of profanity

lost dignity 

causes at infinity..   

Dark Nights..

Few minutes to dawn 
and am all alone..
morning will soon come
but not for me,only for some..
night did descend eventually
but it will be here perpetually..
because at night,dark surrounds 
and it comes with saturnine sounds..
sight is obscured by grim shadows 
and a satan quietly swallows
my existence,my hopes,my dreams
unjust, the whole plot seems;
If i was meant to live at night
why was i shown beautiful daylight
but now i have no more scruples 
i have come to terms with these bigger ripples..
i know am meant for dark nights
of grimly souls and cold sights...

The Moment Of Seizure...

The moment of seizure;when it comes

senses are blocked,body is numb

clue less if I'll make through

chance are bleak and really few..

but that very moment,pain resides

the very body of mine and everything inside..

breathing is a hard possibility;

a state of extremum susceptibility..

colors lose their colorations 

and black space is at formation..

no help can actually assist

on my meagre will,i have to subsist..

sweat breaks on the forehead

words are left unsaid..

this very moment,i fall down

and see like a blind,the world around..

seizure of life,seizure of spirit 

soul is gently cut into splits

ceases the life within

maybe am punished for moments of sin.. 

I Lay On A Thorn Bed..

Now I lay on a thorn bed

each second,these spines thrust in

making me insane;wanting to be dead

these thorns are penetrating my skin..

As more and more time passes

each of my vein is pricked

visible to my eyes;each blood drop surpasses

pain ,with my life is tightly slicked...

I don't fear the end,but its coming very slow

slitting my arteries;choking my core

i cant shout for help,i cant make it go

and so every thorn is destined to make me sore..

A time will reach,when

my body would be livid,hollow

and i would be liberated then

with nothing more to follow.. 

Lose it all..

Losing my vision

hazy images appear

lost is precision

might lose it all,i fear..

Losing to my senses 

no more can i hear

each second,spirit condenses

might lose it all,i fear..

Losing my sensibility

cluttered head is not clear

questioned my capability

might lose it all,i fear..

Losing my sagacity

situation is severe

at love's scarcity

might lose it all,i fear..

Losing myself,the aim

such is the smear

nothing can be reclaimed

might lose it all,i fear..

Wounds..

Wounds..they say;heal with time

then why not mine,what is my crime..

each day they open up to more pain

when will they mend,i cannot ascertain..

maybe am penalized,for wounding others

so in blood my wounds smother..

i have gone numb to them now

pain to spread;i cannot disallow..

let me succumb to lesions

relief is now of inhibitions..

but justified my wounds are

because i have extremely scarred

my loved ones,and so

these wounds wont ever go.. 

Happiness For You..Death For Me..

Bleeding on the deathbed

holding words unsaid..

pain penetrating

life is cheating..

Once begged god to give me death

he listened;and only now am short of breath..

last thoughts..smothering my head

justice given alas;soon I'd be dead..

i hurt either ways;with me,without me

i cause sadness;how well i can see..

now i know..am a grime soul

enough of proofs you've already told..

i cause you pain;even when am dying

i loved you i thought;more than life,implying

but your wounds don't seem to fill up

and to my wounds ill soon succumb..

you don't need to beg me to love you

u could never see;that is what all i do

but its hard to see you this way

am sure;after this you'll be okay

i promise not to cause more aching

you would know but i was not faking..

because this life of mine

is on fast decline..

i wanted you more than anyone 

but you were right;nothing can be undone..

before i go;i want to tell you 

my love couldn't have ever been so true..

i failed somehow;

death for me now..

I'd silently expire

happiness you'd reacquire..

You Are Hurt..

I wont hurt you anymore
even if it means turning myself sore..
your pains will subdue am sure
now that am taking a detour..
even if it takes putting myself to death
now you wont be short of breath,
and I'd compensate with each of mine
would give all the air and each drop of blood line..
It will relieve you,of that am certain
would mutely draw my life's curtain..
till the time i can survive
I'd pray that you merrily thrive..
because after that,I am sure
your life would be wholly secure..
i think you don't need me anymore
and that's fair,because every time your heart i tore..
i loved you and i failed to show
and so i should better go..
Because you are hurt..damage is done
on the mouth of gun i should be the one..
just know that i loved you more than my living
and i wish no more to live by your misgivings
Bid me farewell,my dear
for hurting you,I'd myself tear;
my heart
because you are hurt..