Contemplating..

Contemplating suicide

never too easy

a lot, tried

of life,queasy..

Reason not one

undermine flesh

far under yon

millions enmesh

Self-fix mechanism ceased

weakness possessed

soul deceased

hollowness distressed..

Choices marred

declared cipher

what if scarred

death-term;than a lifer..

Black Smoke..

Wanting to live in smoke

blurring the vision

diluting the reality

and losing presicion..

Its too much chaos

as life moves on

obscured all the time

passing each milestone..

So such would be the life

in the dense black smoke

nothing would be visible

no thoughts to provoke..

Inhaling and exhaling

would seem same

not like what prevails

exhaling anger;inhaling blame..

Soaking myself in smoke

all senses at hault

wounds not felt

nor any assault..

Love Locked Down...Save..

Keeping Love Locked down

in abstruse ail i drown..

and nowhere to go..run

my debile spirit,i want to shun..

heart is wrenching,life too

suspiring is punishing to pursue..

love yearns your presence,touch

either you or death,ill clutch..

stare once in my direction

heart will throw your reflection..

because it holds you,sole

swear by my dying soul..

it needs you..come..

come before i go numb..

release the love locked down

save me or else i will drown..

 

My pic!

Ive been too lazy to do it so mahima did it for me!

They are my b'day pics.

Fading Away...

Burn my Soul
and blow the ashes
heart losing control
with each beat crashes

all was at stake
wish i could lower it then
would have subdued the ache
and no torments again

trusted so bad
that am in awe
with love that i had
i still had a flaw

revival is vital
but will is gone
after your each recital
it remains withdrawn

soul was here to stay
with you forever
but better now it goes away
and lessen your endeavor

so it will burn at earliest
i promise for sure
giving u rest
and happiness i assure

Burning Heart..

It feels as if.. 

someone is clenching my heart

shooting it with burning darts..

i cannot douse the fire burning

minute after minute pain is returning..

am helpless and weak

no place to go,where solace i can seek..

though hands are tightly tied

am still hurting their self pride..

heart is ticking like an old clock

any moment it seems,it will stop..

the person i held in this heart

is the one who,pain imparts..

but still i am to be blamed

by me,my heart could not be tamed..

i fell feeble and faint

so my heart is burning with no restraint..

Insecurities..

Gulping my insecurities

life marked by adversities 

crusading mind's impurities

avenging fear of severities..

long its been a process

breaking each neuron 

still trying to suppress

and calmly holding on..

But as a night dies

my insecurities are alive

and with each sunrise

my fears multiply and thrive..

Losing myself to these fears

on them,i seem to choke

still trying to prevent tears

and my situation,i try to cloak..

I want a miracle to take place

annihilation of pain and frights 

someone to lovingly embrace

and cure my afflictive nights..

Living Disgraced..

Living disgraced

entity erased

mirror lies

uncloaked disguise

proclaimed grime

by someone prime

feelings obliterated 

pain infiltrated

no relief

to one's disbelief

sagacities passed

left aghast

whom to oppose

such severe blows

devoid of sanity

allegations of profanity

lost dignity 

causes at infinity..