Dark Nights..

Few minutes to dawn 
and am all alone..
morning will soon come
but not for me,only for some..
night did descend eventually
but it will be here perpetually..
because at night,dark surrounds 
and it comes with saturnine sounds..
sight is obscured by grim shadows 
and a satan quietly swallows
my existence,my hopes,my dreams
unjust, the whole plot seems;
If i was meant to live at night
why was i shown beautiful daylight
but now i have no more scruples 
i have come to terms with these bigger ripples..
i know am meant for dark nights
of grimly souls and cold sights...

The Moment Of Seizure...

The moment of seizure;when it comes

senses are blocked,body is numb

clue less if I'll make through

chance are bleak and really few..

but that very moment,pain resides

the very body of mine and everything inside..

breathing is a hard possibility;

a state of extremum susceptibility..

colors lose their colorations 

and black space is at formation..

no help can actually assist

on my meagre will,i have to subsist..

sweat breaks on the forehead

words are left unsaid..

this very moment,i fall down

and see like a blind,the world around..

seizure of life,seizure of spirit 

soul is gently cut into splits

ceases the life within

maybe am punished for moments of sin.. 

I Lay On A Thorn Bed..

Now I lay on a thorn bed

each second,these spines thrust in

making me insane;wanting to be dead

these thorns are penetrating my skin..

As more and more time passes

each of my vein is pricked

visible to my eyes;each blood drop surpasses

pain ,with my life is tightly slicked...

I don't fear the end,but its coming very slow

slitting my arteries;choking my core

i cant shout for help,i cant make it go

and so every thorn is destined to make me sore..

A time will reach,when

my body would be livid,hollow

and i would be liberated then

with nothing more to follow.. 

Lose it all..

Losing my vision

hazy images appear

lost is precision

might lose it all,i fear..

Losing to my senses 

no more can i hear

each second,spirit condenses

might lose it all,i fear..

Losing my sensibility

cluttered head is not clear

questioned my capability

might lose it all,i fear..

Losing my sagacity

situation is severe

at love's scarcity

might lose it all,i fear..

Losing myself,the aim

such is the smear

nothing can be reclaimed

might lose it all,i fear..

Wounds..

Wounds..they say;heal with time

then why not mine,what is my crime..

each day they open up to more pain

when will they mend,i cannot ascertain..

maybe am penalized,for wounding others

so in blood my wounds smother..

i have gone numb to them now

pain to spread;i cannot disallow..

let me succumb to lesions

relief is now of inhibitions..

but justified my wounds are

because i have extremely scarred

my loved ones,and so

these wounds wont ever go.. 

Happiness For You..Death For Me..

Bleeding on the deathbed

holding words unsaid..

pain penetrating

life is cheating..

Once begged god to give me death

he listened;and only now am short of breath..

last thoughts..smothering my head

justice given alas;soon I'd be dead..

i hurt either ways;with me,without me

i cause sadness;how well i can see..

now i know..am a grime soul

enough of proofs you've already told..

i cause you pain;even when am dying

i loved you i thought;more than life,implying

but your wounds don't seem to fill up

and to my wounds ill soon succumb..

you don't need to beg me to love you

u could never see;that is what all i do

but its hard to see you this way

am sure;after this you'll be okay

i promise not to cause more aching

you would know but i was not faking..

because this life of mine

is on fast decline..

i wanted you more than anyone 

but you were right;nothing can be undone..

before i go;i want to tell you 

my love couldn't have ever been so true..

i failed somehow;

death for me now..

I'd silently expire

happiness you'd reacquire..

You Are Hurt..

I wont hurt you anymore
even if it means turning myself sore..
your pains will subdue am sure
now that am taking a detour..
even if it takes putting myself to death
now you wont be short of breath,
and I'd compensate with each of mine
would give all the air and each drop of blood line..
It will relieve you,of that am certain
would mutely draw my life's curtain..
till the time i can survive
I'd pray that you merrily thrive..
because after that,I am sure
your life would be wholly secure..
i think you don't need me anymore
and that's fair,because every time your heart i tore..
i loved you and i failed to show
and so i should better go..
Because you are hurt..damage is done
on the mouth of gun i should be the one..
just know that i loved you more than my living
and i wish no more to live by your misgivings
Bid me farewell,my dear
for hurting you,I'd myself tear;
my heart
because you are hurt..

I'd Burn Myself..

They all want to throw me away,

and vindicated they are..

after all its me who always betray,

and painfully earn a scar..

They are dissatisfied..disturbed

i affect their lives so severely.. 

my right of living should be curbed,

and i should be killed clearly..

I cant make them glad

hurt is all i pass on..

no more will you, be sad,

when silently I'd be gone..

I have promised myself,

would burn myself instead..

let the flame douse itself,

and i would be the person you never had..

Unhappiness is all i am about..

And now i just await the end

things to close down on me..

arduous it is for living to mend

and the future is inane i can foresee..

With inflictions..marking my presence

how long i can live to witness..

so hoping for my happy evanescence

because pain i cause cant ever be less.. 

With each night comes a day

my atrocious actions fail to cease..

i should be left to decay

curbing my barbarities to increase..

Restricting air in my lungs

wanting blood to ooze out..

i should have been killed young

because unhappiness is all i am about..

The Demon Of Life..

Frenzied mist sets in

ceasing the light within..

unable to steer my path

crossing demon's wrath..

in a second,down the throat

destiny it was,god wrote..

unending pain,end was far

marking presence with each scar..

dilapidation with each breath

but still nowhere nearing death..

the demon,savoring each blood drop

neither i tried to battle nor did he stop..

sucking out,the terminal puff of air

breathless,despondent of any repair..

marked each pigment with knife

the vehement demon of life..

Debarred..

Debarred..restricted

for this life..misfitted..

with some things..come surprises

i come with only pain..painful crises..

with me comes shame

they think,for them,tears never came..

Keeping inside,closing my life

to see them happy,but they are always at strife..

I am questioned,my sensivity too

Afterall,I reall can't,some things,undo..

And so am left to perish away..life charred

from the love of thiers,am Debarred..

An Assertion..Life ends..

Tonight...Crack of doom

life has come to halt

of all senses consumed

it was a heavy assault...

Thunderbolts..life ending

shook the mortality

death;fast ascending

unconscious fatality..

Psyche..closed down

spiritlessness in air

vast ocean;and i drown

not a soul cares..

Pain..intruding the layers

bloodline polluted;

insanity declared

living disputed...

An Assertion of yours ..enough

and my annihilation;

cant stand tough

life defeating situation..

 

Dark Winter..

Winter sets in yet again..

cold nights have always been;

a part of my life..a heavy contribution

don't know what i sinned..why this retribution..

this onset though..i thanked god supreme 

i have someone..for whom love is extreme

but winter has to be dark

leaving behind lucid marks

shivery i am..daunted

buried in snow..left unwanted

a touch is all required

soul would melt..life transpired

would plead your love to take charge

all satanic spirits would discharge..

all i have is you this winter..black

don't give up on me..don't fall back..

Detached Attachment..

Wish I had the power to forget it all

and move on with my life..slowly crawl..

but powerless..am attached to umpteen

hurting them...collecting their hurts..its been;

long ,long time,iv seemed to forget

myself,my dreams,my life at best

don't want to be alone,but yet 

want some relief..no regrets..

should i cut myself,or cut off all cords

iv been guilt always..show their records..

love has the power to heal and hurt

iv been hurt and its overt..

but that doesn't mean i don't want to be loved..

then why always am shoved off..

so figuring it out..speculating 

i want a change and am slowly changing...

dependent...shouldn't be..rightful abatement

Need to practice..Detached Attachment.. 

Seeking Solace In Myself..

Tired,trying..and understanding

its useless making myself understand to them

because that way am highly demanding 

uncaring,uninvolved..am condemned..

 

Their lives..highly affected by me

a lot of afflictions..they say

not trying to infer and see

"my role defied and i underplay"..

At fault..almost since i was born

hard to live with..pain i extend.. 

so what they do..is remove this thorn

on me they can never depend..

My unhinges..oh they are besides the point

and i feel am nothing..a defaulter..precisely

so shed me off..because i only disappoint.. 

and they  always behaved nicely..

Damn me..and my problems;just

be happy and don't face

am still on the solitary path,n i must

essentially seek in myself,solace

Memories..

Memories they all say fade away

but  from them i cant stray..

cause some are to be kept deep inside

they would b cherished..and would reside

in my heart..that once had your love..when we were "WE"

for they are the most beautiful part of me..

seems they have become my soul

every moment..be that short stroll

flowing in me like vitalizing blood line

and that smile of yours which shined..

becoming cause of my existence

i wont refrain..iv had enough of resistance..

each new day..i recall one moment at a time

n analyzing the fact..analyzing each rhyme

giving me intense pleasure

it is u it comprise..my precious treasure

the feeling is stunning

n now from my memories..i wont b running...

My Chemical Romance..

Perfect..it seems..lovely colorations 

love in my life...resplendent sensations 

with music in the air..beautiful visions 

less someone knows the afflictions..

not whining..not forming opinions

on this love am really a minion

but sometimes..some shudders 

and then confused..go wither 

sometimes..am happy..felicitous life

no situations..no strife..

confounded..no help found

she is there..but really not around..

fixing things..need to mix a potion

throw away all blurring notions

don't want to give up..no chance

this is my chemical romance!

Waiting for you..

Waiting desperately..

i hear someone coming..

is he coming for me..

no i don't think so..

desperation at peak..

want somebody to come..seek..

because am grim..

nobody sees..

or maybe they see..

but no relief 

waiting some more..

n i hear the voice..that i adore..

tells me..u don't need to be sad

y be sad after all

because am with you

don't u know that too..

come with me..

'i will show u something..

some stars..some flowers..

some beautiful  hours;

with me..and you

just you'...and then

sadness..parts when

when i was held..in

those arms..

tightly secured..

of all things cured..

Life in Smoke...

Eyes red..sweating minute dribs

oblivious to the world..stoned he is

marijuana doing good..no chains

keeping smoke within..he retains..

world seeming unspoiled,virgin

with each drag,inebriation begins..

fuming one after other..vigorously

vital for life it is..critical highly..

forget all the pain..the spite

not giving you the power to fight

but ignorance...how it reigns

stoned 'i am'..weed 'in my' veins..

burying the present..future in shambles 

who cares..after all its all a gamble..

no responsibility..no aims

lets burn up our life in elating flames..

stoner..junkie..addict

longevity mine..drug shots predict...

 

Future Holds What..

A vision..way too blurred

substantive ,maybe absurd..

blanket of haze surrounds 

heart irregularly pounds..

no directions..no maps

consciousness full of traps...

hanging in the middle

attempting spirit's riddle..

lost often..rarely found

feel the infliction inbound..

future sees this to me

too hard for you to see..

unfolds..day by day

accepts,maybe betrays

intellect working too hard

future holds what,

punishment,maybe rewards..

Story Of A Hero..

Jumping buildings..bridges

running narrow ridges

power..ultimate..unending

from sky speedily descending..

A hero..with a mask

his name..nobody asks..

To us he is a hero..paladin

restricted only to flying..

saves..defends..

fights till end

bruised..battered

physically shattered...

We worship..our adoration

ignoring the situation..

he goes home..lonesome 

straight off tears come..

fighting the bad..soo involved

his own fights remain unsolved..

worshipers..aplenty

none to love..

he must have been twenty

hero ours...

Soul's Rehab..

If there's a place take me there
because often..they say..am unfair

a place for correction of my hopes
so that everybody can , with me cope..

a place to decoct my anticipations
so that i don't have any expectations

a place where my dreams would be broken
to reality i must be now woken

a place which will abstain me and nab
from hopes and dreams...a Rehab..

A Sincere Prayer!

A thought crossed my mind a minute back
what it takes to love that multitudes lack
is it something which is unattainable
for i dun see a reason..is it unexplainable..?
is it soo hard to love..to care
that people are afraid and still saying their prayers..
is it a temporary illusion from which
people are running away.. if not..soo what is the hitch ?
y just cant people learn to be more warm
all they need to do is try...involving no harm..
hatred driven minds..they need some love
and am sure..no one in this world would die thereof..
a little concern can make things easier
and this place would b a alot much happier..
i lay back tonight and fold my hands
that mighty god..world is at your command..

iv seen u almighty..making miracles
for u this is just an ordinary task..requiring effort unsubstantial..
just make these mortals learn to love
and id b sure then..you are there for us above..

Stochastic Thoughts!

Wondering and analyzing the situation
but fail to understand this world's acidification
we were supposed to love..aint?
but then why today even a saint cant b called a saint...
hatred and jealousy all around
the face of humanity has severely drowned..
emotions and values left with no meaning
who manages to crush all of them..people run after him preening
egos and self pride..confused with each other
son killing a son..brother killing a brother..
no1 stops to see the mess created now
by no else but by him somehow..
and zilch respect the feelings
they all are forgtten in money making dealings..
somehow i feel that god sent us all here
not to fight..not to hate..but only to love..but i fear
i fear that this day might neva come
when people would learn to love..to the hatred they'll succumb..
but i wana spread this message of love
i feel am soul made for that and sent from above
why hate anyone because he did something to you
i know he has left with excruciating pain to accrue
but less does he know that in the end
he has to knock on god's doors..n nothing can he den append..
forgive him for he is a foolish soul
he will realize when he loses his self control..
instead smile at all his allegations
cuz den only u'l justify urself as god's creation..

Love!

An emotion..sweet bliss
when it hits..u wont miss
the crazy feeling
somehow so appealing
that you'd wish it 2 stay
u would desperately pray..because it'll make u look
at the beautiful life..otherwise mistook
you'll do crazy stuff
and would overcome whatever is tough
because you'll know someone's there
who would always care..and you'll always stand tall
problems will seem so small..if u wonder what am talking abou
tits love..which no one can live without
and so it is the grace of immortal above
and i loved being in love..

SOMETIMES

Sometimes its good to be quiet
and watch the world moving outside
away from the mundane worldly riots
exists a glorious spirit alongside

Sometimes it is better to be still
rather then making a ruckus
because all is missed out den..even your own free will
and lost is all the required focus

Sometimes its nice to be nice
when just a smile can do wonderments
little warmth is all needed..for a beautiful feeling to entice
and then everyone will seem so gracious..2 your amazement

Sometimes its brave to accept your mistakes
because it takes some serious guts
but also learn from them..n dun b fake
take the blame...no if's n but's

Sometimes its splendid to love
and give more than what u take
surely no one will die there
ofand surely there is nothing to put at stake